So.

Eighteen years old.
Not fussy, except with food.
The distant relatives, second aunties, unknown Uncle
and twice removed cousins have failed me - On Christmas.

Presents that were normally overflowing out of the Christmas bag
stored in my Mum's wardrobe ready to be taken out December 23rd.
Are now knowhere to be seen.

And so.
I've given myself a twitter for Christmas.
https://twitter.com/NeduSaysHi

Silver Lining.

Sunday afternoon - shopping for my duffle coat
"Hurry up!" Laura says to me, i was meant to meet them at the station an hour ago.
Brighton. How exciting.
No really.

I must be honest.
Four hours in Oxford Street searching for a coat i would never find
I was quite tired. Lugging two heavy bags, and a "29" season sleeping bag
onto three buses and then getting on a train - wasn't looking so enticing.
I even threatened not to come if i didn't find my duffle coat!
But something, im not exactly sure what,pushed me to go.
Maybe it's written...

Sixteen calls, two missed buses and one very scary skid on ice later
I got myself to Clap(Ham) Junction - Platform 13.
Laura, Richard and Akiem were waiting there for me, in the cold.
And all i could say was "Im wearing heat tech! :D" with my hat, two scarves and mittens on. Hello, Brighton is going to be cold!

And it was. Oh boy it was.
Arriving in the station, we spot a sign
"Welcome to Brighton", Polite..
and the wedges of snow, sitting happily waitin to greet us -
Inside the station. Richard was baffled. And so was i..

Burgess Hill though, was our actual destination
And after an unlawful purchased child ticket, we borded a train
going in the opposite direction. Though i almost wish we hadn't 
The station - Burgess Hill. Stank.
And it wasn't my top lip mate.

Welcomed with open arms and mouth - William Hatton met us at the station
With high importance focused on the purchasing of our own Alcohol.
Me? No, i don't drink. Only water. And sprite... and Green Tea.
He kissed me for that. So proud, so proud.

His house.
Compared to mine, is an amazing three storey building on a very icy road in Brighton.
Oh wait, it is. I wasn't expecting anything flashy, i mean this is Will we're talking about..
Beautiful home. Comfertably furnished, with mood music in the Kitchen.
Will's house was the shizznit.

I slept in a moderately sized bedroom,
with a certain someone - head to toe guys, head to toe :P
Didn't get much sleep though. A'hem duvet hogger.
Not naming any names...

We were fed.
Rice, "curry", Spicy potatoes and a selection of sides.

We were entertained.
Slumdog Millionaire in the cinema room. Yes, cinema room.

We socialised.
No spin the bottle. An effectively boring XBox game. Two sips of Alcohol
Yucky.. very very yucky. Don't drink kids. Please.

And at 2:00am in the morning we called it a night. Day.. ?
Escorted to my room for the night
"Erm. I know you wouldn't normally. But please don't do anything in the bed"
It's alright Will... I didn't even get any sleep in that bed.

3:00am - I'm cold.
3:24 - I'm still cold.
4:03 - He's moving!
4:05 - I've got less cover than i did before
5:30 - He touched my leg! Text Laura and Becca..
6:00 - walk to the bathroom for no reason, again
7:45 - starting to fall asleep - my bed sharer wakes up. TMK.

The question of the day
"How did you sleep?"
Hovering over my porridge, humming along to the silence in my head
I started to slowly ignore the question. Besides there was nothing to say.

And by 11:00 - I had bathed :D
Bags were packed. And home journey's were being thought out.
Gareth lives in Croydon, Twas the car home for me.... and Akiem.
Plenty of hugs, I'll miss yous,i love yous (mainly coming from my mouth :P)
It was time to go... Quick photo and we were off
speeding down the road.
How ever fast you speed on an already slippery road...

I wasn't the only one dreading this reunion.
I had the feeling it would be awkward - okay so it was
But i actually enjoyed myself.

Guess there was a silver lining to this cloud.

What a night

My mum was right - The Mulberry Bush
Is a pub
And when we left, heads banging
voices screaching (Well, not mine)
all i can remember is........
"INDIIAAAAA"
"COSTA RICAAA"
I really wanted to say
"Shut up.. your all crazy"
But just muttered a humble
"The World.."
Loud enough for only Phia to hear.

I complained all night about missing X Factor
But tonight really taught me a lot of things..

- Cover you hair when its raining
- Sometimes its takes a while to realise something, for what it is
- Don't get drunk

I had fun.
I was smiling on the inside.

But for now..
this afro is tired.

Night

In The Morning.

04:40, am
My bedroom, In my bed.

Flashing lights break through the darkness
My eyes, forced open to see my phone flashing
Alarm - AWAKE.

With an out stretched arm
i reach for the button that will end it all
QUIT.

"I'm awake"
"I'm alive"
the two most frequent thoughts to invade my mind
every morning.

I lay there for a moment longer
not daring to close my eyes
i want to see this hour through.


Upright i sit, as my eyes adjust to the darkness.

To my left, my laptop sits
opening the lid, light floods the room
blinking routinely as my eyes adjust to the light.

You Tube.
In the morning? Mhmmm...
Fingers to keyboard i type in

I..S...R...A
Israel New Breed.

My words sometimes
aren't enough, and so
i often find a beautiful melody
to sing to, praise to..

Away, away from the noise
Alone with you
Away, away to hear your voice
And meet with you
Nothing else matters, my one desire is

To worship You, I live
To worship You, I live, I live
To worship You.

Tears bled from my eyes
weeping, calling out to The Father.
My Father, and if you didn't already know
Your Father.

With the song on repeat
(By repeatedly starting it again :P)
The song was with me

- As i washed the dishes
- As i ate my breakfast
- As i got dressed
And even now as i am typing.

Before i dash off to get my 07:00 bus
let me leave you with a proposition.

Make each day count
Start it right, In The Morning

Blessings.

Fair Point.

In search of royale blue vanas?
(Vans to you)
you have to shop around abit unoe...
but we all know what the weather was like
Thursday evening... Terrential rain much?
Very!

And so i take only two stops
Camden & Oxford St
(Lazy me, i know :P)

So i walk into Office, nope.
And then walk into Schuh...
didn't the van/converse/keds
section used to be on the wall on the right
near the stock room?

Well they aren't there anymore :P
whilst in search of my foot friends
i begin to notice, this shop is just full of heels and boots
thats just dumb...

and almost like a reflex action
my eyes are guided toward some
graphics on the ceiling

I quote.
If you don't see the "beauty" of heels, stick to trainers

I smiled,
got out my phone
and copied it down

Fair point Schuh, Fair point.

Life on Camera

Its usually me and my Canon
out and about snapping up
everything later to be edited
in Photoshop and marvelled over.

But what about when im at home
sitting on my laptop
like i am right now?

My intergrated camera is with me
through everything that happens
that sing a long to Jazmine Sullivan
that unexpected phonecall
or the dance off me and my brother have

Was going through a video
that was taken a few weeks back
had quite a bit of material
that i thought would be fun
to edit and show.

So enjoy :)



Its just my life on camera baby!

Its Time.

I keep coming across websites where people testify against relaxers (you go girl!)
A'hem and serenade us with pictures of their 'Hair Journey'...
Seriously, if you clock the number of 'Black Hair' blogs i'm beginning to follow..
and just look through the History on my laptop and see the Natural Hair pages im browsing.

I sit there and smile.
Thinking wow she has nice hair.
And her... oh and her too...
Oooh and that girl... wow her hair is beautiful.

Every now and again reaching my hand up to my scalp
and thinking... 'Where the hell did my hair go?'
Now im not saying im bald or anything...
but my hair isn't progressing...

My hair used to be this.
My hair used to be that.
Well you know what.
My hair can be all those things again and more...
I just gotta work at it..

so now i think.
Its time...

...i just gotta buy me a satin scarf boy! :P

I miss the thickness

I miss the length

I miss the versatility.

Appreciation.

Through the 24 hours of everyday
Seven days of each week
and four weeks of each month
there are people around us that are always there.

Always there to smile at you when you couldn't flex the muscles yourself
Or give you a hug, just when you needed it.
Being there for you, because....
they wanted to.

But instead of you acknowledging them and saying thank you
once in a while. You over look that...
taking them, and everything they do for you
for granted.

All without you knowing of course.

So this is to those of you who stick by my stubborn, unworthy, screwface self.
Even when you could walk the other way, and just forget.

You make me smile.

My Hands Hurt.

Im usually the 'put my hair in plaits straight away' kind of girl.

I don't know whats been happening these past two months.
But winter is coming, and my hair is tired.

Very tired, you'll notice by the shorter length.

With this Saturday being my only free one for quite a while..

I thought i'd attempt to save my hair.
With twists.

12:30 - 23:58
5 breaks

First time i've ever finished my hair in one day..... barely :)

The tired Volunteer.

I couldn't post yesterday.
My eyes were rapidly immitating the colour of the badge.
Apparently i looked like i was "buzzin" BIANCA

Awoken by my newly discovered cold
I was definately not a happy bunny.
Especially with the thought of editing those pictures
All 2431 of them - ¡me duelen la cabeza!

Theres so much textual incohesion within this post
I shall refrain from writing anything else.
My head hurts. And i've got an interview to do

FLICKER FOR THE PICTURES. COMING SOON.
ps. yes those are a new pair of glasses.. found them yesterday!

Too Far Gone.

Symptom # 1
Unable to meet responsibilities at home, school or office.

Symptom # 2
Continues to use substances or engage in behavior even when it is dangerous.

Symptom # 3
The need increases to engage in behavior or use more of a substance to achieve the same effect or feeling.

Symptom # 4
Has tried but failed to stop using the substance or end the behavior.

Symptom # 5
Continues to engage in the behavior or use the substances even when they are aware of the dangers.

..whilst i don't see it as an add-ic-tion per say
why is it that i'm experiencing all of the above.

Sad to say.
I'm addicted to Mango Juice.

Glass Me Up Baby!

Fashion changes but style is timeless. Lies.

Fashion never changes - or is completely unique should i say.
We "take it back" constantly... listen up ive found a
clever way to get the 'lastest' look without even leaving your house!

Glasses for example.
Chris Brown brought back the nerd look
and Camden market went crazy!
You'll see a pair of thick rimmed over sized
spectacles on atleast 45% of the people you see in one day.

You want a new look - or an old one.
But knocking out the lenses from those 3d glasses.. thats..
thats been done already. (Too many times over if i may say so)
..you search your pockets. Sofa.. bank account.. but no money
seems to want to be claimed for the purchase of your new glasses.
Go Vintage. And i mean really vintage.

As much as i like to shop in Charity Shops (yes... i do)
and spending hours in Beyond Retro to find that ultimate piece..
my nearest one stop shop to oldsvile is just next door.

My mothers room.

Make an open enquiry about old shoes.
Tops.. jumpers.. and even glasses.
And though they'll be a little worn out.. might smell abit..
You'll save a piece for what those darn stores are trying
to sell you down the high street.

Just 10 minutes after my request.
I recieved a pile of Specsaver cases on my bed..
Took every pair out of their pouch and tryed them on..
Okay so i couldnt see a thing... but two stuck out of the crowd.

I knocked out the lenses.
Rocked them to an open day.
Rocked them to a party.
And rocked them to a meeting.

Okay so people will stare at you.. who doesn't!
All unique people get laughed at. But you'll be the envy of others..
when they realise they can't find your fantastic pair of spectacles.
Anywhere :)

Brown&GreyeyBlue

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The Pound That Wouldn't Go In.

We make our way to Angel tube station
"I just gotta top up my Oyster yeah Nedu"
"Kool"

Touch the reader.
Pay as you go.
Top up any amount.
Now simply enter the cash.

If only it were that simple :S

Now i don't know if these counterfit coins are still around
and i haven't been doing my 'real coin check' for a while
it just didn't seem that important anyway. You feel me.

But me, B and this coin were together for quite a while.
We stopped at ever single machine in the place.
"Try rubbing it against the machine like the others"
I point to the evident coin damage the millions of communters
have caused to the poor machine... the last one we bothered to try.

It didn't work.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Next Customer"
"Your machine didn't like my money... £1.05 please"
you could see the smirk on his face as he explained it didn't
take 5p... well we were obviously talking about the pound.. but hey.
It was late. He was probably tired.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
To save yourself the embarassent and frustration of others
(especially in the morning)
just go to a human being - the machine isn't quite there yet

And thats why today..

With all the stress of UCAS.com put to one side, i jetted out of Tutor and headed toward Tescos. The usual - Snack a jack me baby. Slurp goes the (Rubicon) Mango juice, two times over. Low fat cookies.. half price maryland of course + the perfect chillaxation spot.


Islington Green :)


Except the pigeons decided that today they would use their extra special vision to attack my surrounding area. I mean i don't know what kind of food they could see.. they were simply pecking the ground. I thought their was a secret camera for the making of The Birds II, edging myself closer toward the edge of the bench, till a slight pain was issuing itself into my side.


I could move no further :(


So i ditched the joint and found an internet cafe.
50p for half an hour, that i didn't use....
"vrr vrr.... im talking ma.."


S O P H I A :)


..We went to Starbucks.
Oh the cravings i had. Caramel Hot Chocolate. Happy Much? Mmmmm...


----------------------------------------------------------------------

Meeeting!
How i love youlot... my College - pass round my glasses and camera family.
Volunteering once again because.. we do good :)


We weren't listening at first. No of course we werent.
Messing about with the camera, catching up and trying to figure out where the rest of our happy family were, making calls to different destinations. Yeah FA your out of London....
Though settle down we did... eventually. Panning our heads around the room, digesting the faces of all the other people we would be working with. Once again we were the coolest in the building.


Sitting there. Thinking why am i here.
As the different groups were being written on the board...
I'm mean im not even....... my trail of thought interrupted as i spot the word


Photography.


Okay. you've got my attention.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you can make it.
Half Term people... don't complain.
Get at me for details.
Anti racism campaign. Good cause much?
Very.
With that over we whip out the cam once again.. and
"click, click, click, click, click"
Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose!

Suleyman. Is. Beautiful.

Quote me.

Today.

Feelings were expressed.

Food was eaten.

Fun was had.

Today.

Right Now...

As i put down the phone....
03:04:08 talking to Beatrice...
Those phonecalls that probably would've turned
into double figured hours if only you had the time....


But now my ear hurts and i have to spend the rest
of my evening playing back and writing up the
transcript for my interview...


Communication.
Starting with the simple things....
Making my journey to Journalism that little bit easier